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How to Respond to an Ex Asking How You Are

After breaking up with your ex, and perhaps you have moved on with your life, you suddenly receive a text from them asking you how you are, how do you respond?

I bet you will be confused and wondering what they want. Many questions will start roaming around your head; why did they have to text me? Should I respond to the text or not? How do I respond to the text?

Don’t worry about yourself too much!. This article will give you insight into how to respond to such text from your ex based on how you still feel about them and the kind of relationship you want between them.

How to Respond to an Ex Asking How You Are

Before moving to how to respond to your ex, There are four tips you should bear in mind when your ex reaches out.

  1. Don’t ignore the message. You don’t have to reply immediately, and you can do that whenever you feel comfortable doing so.
  2. Don’t be in a rush to reply. Control your emotions, even if it is what you are longing for, or perhaps you are still angry and hurting.
  3. Take some time to think it over and decide what you want from the conversation. Try to figure out if you want them back or not or want to stay friends.
  4. Your response should not be harsh and don’t sound like someone desperate. Be honest, polite, and precise.

How to Respond to an Ex Based on the Kind of Relationship You Want With Them

Knowing how to respond wouldn’t be a problem once you have decided on the kind of relationship you want with your ex.

Below are four ways to respond in different circumstances

How to Respond to an Ex if You Don’t Want to Have Anything to Do With Them Again

If you are clear about your feelings that you don’t want to be with them again, you don’t have to wait any longer or give them false hope.

Be straight with them, make it clear that they should not message you, and that it’s better you both go your separate ways.

Let your reply be short, respectful, and precise. Don’t use harsh words to avoid hurting your ex.

How to Respond to an Ex if You Want Them Back in Your Life

If you want your ex back, Don’t let it be too obvious at first that you want that. You can reply by asking how they are doing too.

This is to get a conversation going between you guys to see if they might also want you back.

If they are responsive, let them know that perhaps there were things you both needed to address in your relationship, and maybe the time apart is exactly what you guys needed to realize and that you’d want to try again.

While communicating, try to be open and objective. Don’t assign blame to avoid an argument.

Don’t beg or pressurize them. Just tell them what you want and leave them to make up their mind.

How to Respond to an Ex if You Want to Stay Friends With Them

You might have been in a long relationship with your ex and don’t want to completely cut them out of your life, and you want to stay friends with them.

If that’s what you want, you respond by asking how they are doing but set limits to your conversations.

Don’t let them cross the set limit, and don’t make any requests or say unnecessary stuff.

If they start talking about a relationship, let them know that it would be better off if you stayed friends, given the circumstances.

How to Respond if You’re Confused About Your Feelings

If you are not sure about getting back to your ex, you shouldn’t be speaking to them, especially if your relationship was abusive.

Don’t reply to their text if you feel this way; it will make you vulnerable, and you might be at the receiving end.

Try to forget about the text and focus on yourself. Don’t contact your ex, and take your time to heal from the breakup.

If you can figure out how you feel about your ex, you can reply based on your feelings.


How do you respond when your ex texts you asking how you are? Don’t think of replying immediately; the first thing you should do is figure out what you want from your ex.

Do you want them back in your life or not, or do you want to stay friends? Perhaps you are confused and not even sure.

After you have decided, you can reply based on the relationship you want with them.

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